The theme this week for Works For Me Wednesday is - WHAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. I'm excited for this because I hope all you wonderfully wise women (wow - how many W words can I use in a row??) can help me figure out some solutions to what is not currently working in our house.
Our current dilemma involves my oldest son Spencer. I asked him today if he was okay with me posting this because I didn't want to embarrass him (which I do enough inadvertently already). But apparently posting problems on my blog for a lot of people to read is not an issue, it's just taking pictures as the kid steps off the bus that is mortifying. But, I digress. Anyway, Spencer started 5th grade today. We had our "Back to School Dinner" tonight and talked about goals and expectations for the upcoming school year. Spencer's number one goal is to be more organized.
Spencer is so incredibly smart, but his Achilles' heel is definitely organization. He would ace every single test, pre-test, whatever you threw at the kid last year but would get low grades in some areas because he could never find any work that he had already completed. His teachers would have to give him papers to redo 2 to 3 times. They would tell me that "they knew he did the work and did it quickly, but then could never find it." Some days I would check that certain papers were in his backpack before leaving the house and by the time he was at school, they would be missing. Because he aced everything big: tests, projects, quizzes - his final grade didn't suffer but we know that as he gets older this lack of organization will really hurt his grades. I remember at the intro to the Gifted and Talented orientation a couple of years ago, they said that the number one problem gifted kids face is organization and that will determine if they succeed or fail (but they then didn't go on to explain what we could do if our child had that problem).
To make a very long story short, we need ideas. I have been going through the house making sure things are more organized on our end. I tend to be a bit of a clean freak so part of me is surprised that this is such a struggle for him. I am trying to get a homework station for him at home finished this week before they start assigning homework. But I'm not sure if this is really going to help with organization at school, IYKWIM. There were a couple times last year I'd have to go to the class and clean out piles and piles and piles of stuff that he had in, around, and on his desk. He also really struggles with procrastination - which I think feeds into the whole organization thing.
If you have any ideas please share them. He is looking forward to hearing any possible solutions. By the end of the school year last year I could tell that he really felt bad about this - there were tears a couple times. He really really wants to figure this out - I just need to somehow find the tools to help him succeed. This is our #1 priority this school year.
Thanks in advance!
PS - If Uncle Scott, Corey, or Ed read this please disregard. Spencer was fine with aunts (because they are moms) and internet friends but was hoping his uncles don't see. He's got to stay cool - you know :)
My previous WFMW posts:
Sweet Spinach Bread
Library Bags
Letterboxing
Curling Ribbon
Safe Plastics
5 Ingredients or Less
Laundry Tip
DIY Lip Gloss
Tips for Clothes Shopping with girls
How to teach a child to swallow pills
Removing old stickers, adhesive, etc.
Easy Hair Bow Instructions
Before You Decorate for Fall
1 week ago
11 comments:
How about trying those files with many pockets. Ask him to just put whatever homework he has in that file (preferably choose a file color that is bright?). It doesn't need to be organized inside the file. As long as it's IN it. That way he can just look in the file for his homework? Just a thought.
The #1 solution is going to be habit. He's got to form a new habit for ANYTHING to "take"!
Have you thought about getting one of those clipboards, like contractors have? It is like a box for forms with a clipboard on the front. If you could get him in the habit of storing his papers inside, and ONLY completing them ON the clipboard, that might work. If they never leave it to be mislaid on a table or shelf or counter... IN the clipboard or ON the clipboard ONLY.
My son's in 3rd grade and has similar issues. I got him a large RED trapper keeper last year, because it's hard to misplace!
My poor kid (and I) struggled with this until he graduated high school--I am nervous about college this year. His papers would "disappear" between our house and the school 2 blocks away, right from the folder in his backpack. I still don't know how this happened, but it did. The school suggested he take a sign out sheet and have each of his teachers sign it everyday. As if giving this kid one more thing to keep track of was a good thing?
2 suggestions--only one folder for homework. On one side, all of the papers that come home. On the other side, all of the papers that go back to school. And invest in a plastic two pocket folder. Those paper ones fall apart too quickly.
And when he gets older and has less worksheets and more written work--do as much as you can on the computer and e-mail it to the teacher as a back-up. You can even do this with math.
Color Coding! Colors are easier to find in a desk than labeled notebooks and folders. When I taught 4th grade I color coded my kids. EVERYONE had a blue folder for Math, Red for Reading, etc. It helped a lot for those less organized.
A specific (preferably plastic) folder for "Take Home" is also good. We always labeled one side, "Keep at Home" and the other side, "Bring Back". But the other thing is, some kids just need more reminders to place things in the spot they belong -- Sometimes I would ask a more organized child to be a less organized child's "Backpack Buddy". They would take 5 minutes at the end of the day to check each other's backpacks (or desks if needed) to be sure they had everything they needed for the next day. I'd say it's worth asking the teacher about.
Oh, taping a checklist to his desk also works for some kids.
One more thought, if he's losing papers between when they are finished and before they can be turned in, ask if he can turn them in early. If the teacher has designated bin for papers to be turned in then he can put them there as soon as he's finished and has less chance to lose it.
So, I have no suggestions for you regarding Spencer's organization. I hope you get some good ideas from some experienced mommies. Thanks for offering support for Grace's chewing habits. Ugh.
My 7th grade son is an Aspie, so I totally "get" what you are going through. It is the same thing w/ my son. We have tried so many different approaches. None stick too well, but we keep trying. One thing that did work well is a 5 subject notebook instead of a different one for each subject. I just attach tabs to show where each subject starts. He doesn't bring the wrong notebooks anymore and notes aren't written all over the place.
I would sugget a book called the organized student. It discusses a binder system which also helps!
Good luck!
I was one of those students growing up. I hear your pain and I understand his.
It wasn't until my mom starting working WITH what everyone thought was a disorganized mind that I saw victory.
Little things like re-examining how much rest I had and how many activities I could handle before I started to unravel. I would guess your son is at the top of his class. Often these kids get ahead of themselves, so what is seen as only disorganization is really a keen mind that runs on high octane.
My mom boiled it down. She never made me file anything. It wouldn't have worked long term. I had an 'in' box and an 'out' box. Large and self-contained, they held all my 'to be done' schoolwork and 'already done' schoolwork. If it would make your son feel better, he could surrender his finished homework to you as soon as it's done and you could send the 'homework' manilla envelope with him everyday. He would know not to open that envelope until his teacher asks for a specific paper or assignment.
My mom accepted that my papers wouldn't be lined up all nice and straight and they would probably be out of order, but as long as they were in their box, she let it go.
I highly recommend Julie Morgenstern's books. She has a take on organization that goes against the grain and helps those of us the world would like to say are disorganized.
It might look like he's disorganized, but I'll bet if you look closely, he has a system of some sort. Just find it and exploit it.
I hope this helps!
Take care.
Spencer is awesome! I love that it is okay for his aunts to read this but not his uncles! Tell him not to worry - Uncle Ed did not read it. I wish I had ideas - but Dallin is only in 2nd grade and they send everything home in a folder for him and I have a bin on the wall at home where everything goes (which isn't a lot yet). Good luck!
You ladies are awesome!!! There are so many ideas here that I never even thought of. I am going to start reading the recommended books and talk to Spencer about all the different ideas and see what he would like to try.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It is so hard to see your child struggle with something and have no idea how to fix it.
I am not sure how to help, other than to say that less is more. Sometimes kids can be overwhelmed with stuff. If there are less distractions it might be easier to stay organized. Although my husband was a disorganized child and continues to be a disorganized adult....
Toni
http://thehappyhousewife.com
Post a Comment